What makes New York City a fantastic gay destination? Just about everything. It is composed of five boroughs covering 300 square miles, but with so much to see and do within the 23 square miles called Manhattan, most visitors sadly don’t have time to walk or cycle across the Brooklyn Bridge or visit the outer boroughs. (You could make a terrific vacation out of Brooklyn and Queens alone!) What are you looking for when you visit NYC? Art? Cultural diversity? Restaurants? Architecture? Street life? History? Theater? Nightlife? Bars? Parks? Waterfront? Gayborhood(s)? A hot date? NYC wants to place first in every event, offering visitors the best of everything from bagels to bars.

Gay NYC has expanded from its epicenter, the historic Stonewall Inn in Greenwich Village where gay liberation was born with the riots of 1969. Currently, there are large gayborhoods in Chelsea and Hell’s Kitchen, but it is becoming more common to see same-sex couples holding hands everywhere, including the sidewalks of the fashionable Upper West Side Lincoln Center neighborhood. Washington Heights, Harlem, Jackson Heights, Park Slope and Bushwick have growing gayborhoods that are well worth researching and visiting. Keep in mind that assimilation – the by-product of legalizing same-sex marriage – means that gay New Yorkers are comfortably and openly living in a variety of neighborhoods beyond that very gay stretch of the West Side between Greenwich Village and Columbus Circle.

The result of assimilation is that all of New York City is gay!

Traditional gay ghettoes such as Greenwich Village are now home to an influx of straight residents. This transition to healthy assimilation involves some growing pains. For example, on the north side of West 28th Street between 10th and 11th Avenues, complete demolition gave way to a massive complex of high-end condos. Across the street is the venerable leather bar, The Eagle, with its open-air and boisterous roof top terrace. Also, that block is home to the annual Folsom Street East festival in which a huge crowd of folks in fetish gear and various stages of undress celebrate their life style. The condo developers protested the bar and the festival, trying to get rid of them in order to make their condos more appealing. They were very surprised to hear from their buyers that both The Eagle and Folsom Street East ought to be allowed to remain. Real New Yorkers don’t have the kind of sexual hang-ups assumed by those developers. That said, soaring New York City real estate prices have meant the closure of a number of gay businesses that could not remain solvent while managing the escalating rents.

How has the prevalence of social apps like Grindr and Scruff impacted NYC as a gay destination? Just ask the undisputed crown of downtown, Michael Musto, who tells me, “There are more gays than ever in NYC, and there’s more queer theater than ever. Only the nightlife is hurting, mainly because no one goes out to get laid anymore. They do it via their phones, so the clubs have lost their sexual urgency. The result is a couple of dozen small bars, but they’re valuable for schmooze time and fun drag shows. Occasionally the patrons will even look away from their phones.” When I asked Musto if he thought gay NYC would vanish, he said, “Vanish? With throngs of gays everywhere in NYC, and dozens of bars, and tons of gay culture? Chicken Little much?”

Every New Yorker has their own short list of special places they want to share with visiting friends and family. My list includes

  • the Bethesda Fountain and Terrace, the nearby Shakespeare Garden, the Ramble and the Bow Bridge, all in Central Park.
  • The Leslie-Lohman gay art museum,
  • The Christopher Street Pier, for the eye candy in summer
  • the bike/running promenade along the Hudson River from the 79th Street boat basin up to the George Washington Bridge,
  • the Highline, a beautifully transformed stretch of abandoned elevated steel train bed that snakes through midtown-west and is now lush with flowers, trees and benches,
  • the ferry from Wall Street’s Pier 11 to Redhook in Brooklyn (free if you make a $10 purchase at the IKEA store where the ferry deposits you!) This ferry ride gives you an incredible view of the Statue of Liberty, the bridges and skyline of Manhattan, and Governor’s Island. You’ll also get to tour the shops and galleries of trendy Redhook.
  • the 9/11 Memorial
  • a few moments in front of the Stonewall Inn.
  • I often walk my guests north from Columbus Circle to the Lincoln Center Fountain and then through the trendy shops of Columbus Avenue to the famous Dakota building on 72nd Street, and into Central Park’s Strawberry Fields to see the John Lennon memorial where someone is always playing guitar and leading an impromptu Beatles sing-along.
  • Combine a tour of The Cloisters with lunch at Bette Midler’s New Leaf restaurant, both in Fort Tryon Park. The restaurant is a 1930 Rockefeller building designed by the Olmsted brothers.

Mentioning Lincoln Center reminds me that you should always check their calendar while planning your trip. Throughout the warmer months there are many free performances, concerts and events in the plazas of Lincoln Center. Afterwards, walk across the street to Boulud for alfresco or indoor dining. There’s a café, bar, restaurant and Épicerie all named Boulud at that location. Examine the menus or the gourmet take-outs before making your choice. Not cheap but worth it.

Bars and restaurants? The choices are endless. Tell your host or concierge what you like and be assured you won’t be disappointed. Some of the restaurants I often recommend require a reservation while others do not. My favorites are often too crowded to receive me. Not to worry. I have discovered some of my favorite restaurants by looking around for a nearby alternative when the place I had targeted told me the wait for a table might be an hour or more. Being adventurous often earns you a memorable dining experience. I’ll also confess that in NYC, when I am exploring parts of the city that are unfamiliar to me, I’ll often check out Google maps, Yelp! or Trip Advisor for nearby recommendations. I take those ratings with a grain of salt, but I like the fact that they allow me to review menus and photos while deciding which to try.

When you are deciding how to get around, do not be afraid to ride the subway. It can be confusing, but a very helpful app, “itrans NYC,” will let you know when your train will arrive and which lines might be experiencing delays or rerouting. If you need info while in a subway car, do not hesitate to ask any rider. Ask one, and five others are sure to chime in. New Yorkers love to give directions and assistance. There is always someone who speaks your language, and it’s a great way to make friends with the locals.

If you choose to rent a bicycle – and I think you should – be sure you follow the rules of the road. Stop for traffic lights and watch out for pedestrians who very often step into designated bike lanes. Did you know that in Manhattan a cyclist has the right to use a full traffic lane? Cars cannot demand that you pull over to the side. That said, be careful when you are on a bicycle. The number of cyclists in Manhattan is growing rapidly, but so is the number of injuries. And no, you can’t ride that bike on the sidewalk. You can ride your bike on the roadways in Central Park where a six-mile loop will allow you to see the whole of it. You’ll dismount frequently to walk your bike onto paths that lead to gardens, lakes, meadows and promenades.

New York is the city that never sleeps, and no matter how long or short your visit, you probably won’t either.

– Tony Adams